WHAAA?
by Valeria Aurelia
Summary: This is a collection of stupid, short stories/drabbles(however you want to call them) that I made just for laughs. Completely R&R. WARNING: Extremely funny and stupid! MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!
1. HELP RICK!

**Hey, y'all! So, this is a series of fanfictions of drabbles(I mean, not really because it's not gonna be _exactly_ 100 words in length) that I've been dying to make! It's not so bad, even though I have lots of fanfictions I need to finish(or at least get farther ahead in), but if you miss one, it means nothing. They're just stupid, short stories I have in mind that I write when I'm bored. And for those of you who have read _Animus_, there is going to be a special scene just for y'all! Ah! I'm so excited for that chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER! **This wonderful story belongs to the genius we all call our leader, master, and god. Oda-sensei!****

**DISCLAIMER! My best friend, Strix Pulvis made the cover page! I thought it was so hilar-lar, that I had to make it my cover! **

**Anyway! I hope you enjoy my new drabble-fanfiction! Thank you!**

* * *

"Birthdays... Ugh! How _dare_ they make _another_ holiday with two words meeting and saying, 'Hey! Missed ya, man! Why don't we hang out for, I don't know, _forever_!' And thus... created the compound word. I mean, there's _Christmas_. Christ-mas, not really sure what 'mas' means, but if there's really word in there somewhere, it's a compound! And the worst one of all! St. Patrick's Day...! The day where all Irishmen get to pat Rick! Whoever _Rick_ is! For Oda's Sake, people! You don't even _know_ Rick! Stop patting him! Actually! Scratch that! People don't pat Rick anymore! They _pinch_ him! Ugh! I can't take it! Have mercy! Please! _**HELP**** RICK!**_"

The Strawhats all stared at Zoro in disbelief. "I-Is that you, Zoro?"

"Of course it's me! I'm just saying, it's _not_ my birthday!" Zoro snapped.

"Riiiight..." Luffy said as he slowly pushed the large cake away. "Okay, you don't have to have the cake if you don't want it but... We're celebrating your birthday."

"No!" Zoro said as he stood up. "What do you not understand about, 'It's not my birthday'!" And he started to walk out of the galley.

"No~! Zoro~!" Luffy screamed as he grabbed Zoro's shirt and started to be dragged along with him.

"Luffy! Let go!" Zoro yelled as he pulled Luffy off and walked out of the room.

Luffy looked at the floor as he pounded his fist into the ground. He then slowly looked up with a scary, dark face. "You can't escape fear..._ Zoro_...!"

* * *

"Geez...! What got into them?" Zoro muttered as he trekked up the side of a mountain. He walked on for quite some time, before reaching the very top. There, he found something very strange, however. Several men patting and pinching a man in the middle of their circle. "Rick...!"

The red-heads pinched and pulled at Rick's face as they chuckled and laughed in a very creepy way. The men all wore green(strangely) and said to the tortured man, "This is what ye get for not wearing green, laddie!"

"I'm sorry! I always forget!" Rick pleaded. "Spare me~!"

"Nay, laddie!" The Irishman declared.

Suddenly, all of the Irishmen fell to the ground. In their place stood the cool, big, green **_Zoro_**...! Rick looked at him in awe. "Who are you?"

Zoro stared at him firmly, until he said, "The Destroyer of St. Patrick's Day...!"

Rick cried tears of joy as he said, "Thank you...!"

"No," Zoro said. "Thank _you_. For teaching us the true meaning of St. Patrick's Day, and for reminding children what happens when you... don't wear _green_...!"

Suddenly, Luffy, Usopp, Nami, and Sanji popped up from the bushes screaming, "THAT WAS A _STUPID _FIRST CHAPTER!"

"Whaa~?" Zoro sounded.

* * *

**Jahaha! Okay, okay. I know that was like the stupidest thing you probably will ever read by me. And it was really short. But that was just an intro. Most of the chapters will be so stupid, that they're hilarious(that's... just my humor... I'm _sorry_...!). And a lot of them will have Sabo in them. Like the next chapter will be with him and it will be _hilar-lar~_! **

**Say 'I' if you just came here because of the cover! Jaha! Thought so...!**

**Also, if you're Irish, please don't feel offended by this. I'm Irish as well(I don't live in Ireland though, Stalkers!). I made it Zoro destroying St. Patrick's Day because he's a Green-Man getting revenge on the Green-Holiday.**

**Well, I hope you thought this was stupid. And I hope you will read the next chapter when it comes out(even though it was so stupid and made no sense what-so-ever). **

**VALETE!**


	2. It's Official!

**Hey~! So, I was working on another Chapter 2 for this, but since it's Father's Day(or at least _was_), I thought I'd make a weird fanfiction for Daddy Day! :D**

**So this one's about- You know, I'll just let you find out on your own! And I'm not sure how long this is gonna be... but... I'm pretty sure it's gonna be super short. But I'm not sure... **

**_WARNING!:_ DRAGON'S OOC!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

In the windy, white desert of Baltigo, there was a man that stood on a balcony... that stood on a rocky building... that stood on the ground... Like everything else does... Well, he more like _sat_ on the balcony. Not like that really matters to the story, though. Anyway, he sat on his balcony, staring sadly at a wanted poster that harboured large letters saying, "Monkey D. Luffy". He sighed and dropped his head.

A man suddenly walked onto his balcony and said, "Dragon-san?"

"What is it, Sabo?" Dragon asked the young man.

"Wh-What do you mean, sir?" Sabo looked around, confused. "You instructed me to come to you!"

"So I did," Dragon sighed again, only slightly moving his head towards his comrade. "Sabo, you've been with us for quite some time now, so I felt like it was time to ask you _the_ question."

Sabo didn't understand, but the subject intrigued him. "Anything, sir."

"Do you, Sabo..." Dragon paused. "Have..."

"Have what, sir?"

"A..." Dragon put his head down. "A son?"

Sabo's face wrinkled up in confusion. "A... son?"

"Yes! Do you have a son?"

"N-No! Dragon-san, I'm in my early twenties and you're asking me if I have a _son_?"

"Well, I was in _my_ twenties when I had my son!" Dragon snapped.

"That's _really_ weird, Dragon-san!"

Dragon suddenly stood up and announced, "I've decided!"

"Decided what? We didn't discuss _anything_!" Sabo waved his hand around, trying to express his point.

Dragon turned around coolly and stared into the young man's eyes. "I'm going to find your son!"

"I don't have a son, Dragon-san!" Sabo snapped as Dragon suddenly disappeared. The young man just growled and called into the command center, "Something's wrong with Dragon-san!"

* * *

Ivankov was sitting in a beautiful field of pink, sipping pink tea with pink flamingos and happy candy-boys. Suddenly, Dragon burst up from nowhere, screaming, "IVA!"

"Oh, hello, Dragon," Ivankov said bluntly, as if it was _no surprise _that Dragon just popped up out of nowhere. "How are vou?"

"I have something to ask you!" Dragon exclaimed.

"Anything," Ivankov replied.

"Do you," Dragon looked into his friend's eye seriously. "Have a son?"

"Vha-... No! Vhat kind of qvestion is-" Ivankov started to ask.

But Dragon interrupted him by turning around and screaming, "It's official!"

"Vhat is?"

"I'm going to find you son!" Dragon announced.

"Vi don't have vone!" Ivankov said, but Dragon disappeared before he could hear him entirely. "Vhat a strange man..."

* * *

"Kuma!" Dragon exclaimed as he stretched his hand out to his robot-friend.

"It's Dragon!" The marines screamed around him.

"Why are you here, Dragon!"

"Kuma! Listen to me! Do you," Dragon's fist clenched as his head lowered and he bit his lip. His head then suddenly shot up as he shouted, "Do you have a son!"

"What's he going on about?" One Marine asked.

"Beats me."

Kuma did not reply. "You've gone speechless...! This can only mean _one_ thing!" He suddenly flipped around and grabbed a random Marine's shoulder. "It's official!"

"Wh-What is?" The Marine asked.

But he ignored the young Marine and looked back up at Kuma. "I'm going to find your son!" And with that, he disappeared, leaving Kuma with the Marines. And if you looked closely you could see Kuma shed a tear of relief.

The Marines were left in silence. Until one asked, "What the hell was that about?"

* * *

"ROOOOOOGEEEEEER!" Dragon kneeled at Gol D. Roger's grave with tears in his eyes. "Why did you have to die!" His tears streamed down his face before he said, "There's something I... never asked you, though!"

He put his hands on the ground as he asked, "ROGER, DO YOU HAVE A FRIGGIN' SON!"

There was no response.

"It's official!" Dragon's head shot up. "I'm going to find your son!"

* * *

"Damn it...!" Dragon sobbed in front of Portags D. Ace's grave. "I was too late!" He rose his head to the sky and screamed, "I'M SORRY, ROGEEEER!"

He then sat in silence for a while, before he said, "Ace, I know we never met before, and I know your friggin' dead... But...! I have to ask you this...!" More tears streamed down his face. "Do you have a-"

_"No, I do **not **have a son!"_ A voice in Dragon's head snapped. _"What's your deal, man? Asking people who obviously **never** had a son,_ _**at all**, if they actually did! You asked a young man, you asked a gay man, you asked a robot, and now you're asking the **dead**!? What do you **want** from us!? I mean, what if they had a **daughter**? What would they say? Well, I guess 'No', but would you care about that answer? Because you're asking about **sons**, so-"_

"Eiichiro Oda! Who's there!" Dragon shot up to his feet.

_"Me."_

"That doesn't answer anything!"

_"Oh, oh! Right, well... I'm the dead person you're talking to!"_

Dragon's eyes narrowed. "Okay, my quest is over!" He then said as he walked down the hill.

_"What a strange person..." _Ace's ghostly figure appeared sitting in front of crate near his grave, drinking from a little sake cup that had been left there.

_"Tell me about it!"_ Whitebeard's ghostly figure laughed as he sat next to his son.

* * *

It was early morning... Monday... Nobody likes Mondays... Dragon dragged himself out of his bed and shuffled to the bathroom, that was connected to his bedroom. He had sleepy, hollow eyes as he looked into the mirror. He then sighed and said to himself, "Dragon... do you... have a son?"

Only silence replied.

"It's official!" Dragon declared as he whipped around with a clenched fist. "I'm going to find my son!"

Suddenly, several revolutionaries burst into his room and gave him a huge bear hug as they screamed, "YOU'RE BACK, DRAGON-SAN!"

"Give me a heart attack, that's fine," Dragon said bluntly. "And what do you mean, 'I'm back'? I was here all night."

"But you're finally yourself again! You're still trying to find Luffy!" Sabo explained with tears in his eyes.

"You were acting crazy, boss!" Another Revolutionary exclaimed.

"But you're not supposed to because you have no feelings!" One more added.

Dragon looked down at him with mad eyes. "Oh, now you've done it!" Someone snapped.

"What was that?" Dragon asked.

"Ooooh..." All the revolutionaries whispered.

"Oh my! Look at the time!" Sabo hopped up and pointed to his wrist(which didn't have a watch on it -.-). "I have to meet Koala and Hack to do some... stuff..." And before anyone could ask anything, the Chief of Staff was gone.

"I'd suggest you six leave," Dragon warned harshly.

"Yeah..." They replied and with that they all ran out of their boss' room. Dragon then went over to the door leading to a long hallway, looked around, and slowly closed the door.

* * *

**Happy Daddy Day! Don't you think they should call it that? I mean, it rhymes with... No, it doesn't _rhyme_, but it does start with the same letter as 'Day'. Man, my shift bar is almost broken and it's driving me CRAZY! **

**I've also been having super difficult weeks lately! My brother's having some trouble... in _life_... My aunt's wedding is getting me stressed out... Oda, I need One Piece _pronto_. One Piece always makes me feel better. It just brings a smile to your face, and it makes you not care about all the 'downs' in life. I seriously need** **a couple of 'ups', and I know so does Oda. He just got back from getting his tonsils taken out if y'all didn't already know. **

**I'm not really sure what I think about this chapter. It's definitely funny, but it's _really _OOC... It's kinda creeping me out a little. But I hope y'all liked at least. I am here to serve _you_ entertainment! **

**VALETE!**


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